As soon as you come across a python unawares, immediately note how far your testicles retract into your body, and for what duration of time they remain there. This method of documentation is known as "ballsuckage," and has recently become popular with field researchers as it accurately depicts the sheer startling size and general scariness of the snake in question. One must however remember to take into account the temerity and pussiness of most researchers, as they are generally wimpy espresso-swilling post-graduate wieners who have never been laid. And also the size of their balls.